The Spanish Police are beginning to get on my nerves!

By The Curmudgeon

I am basically a law-abiding citizen, a democrat, who fully understands that society needs rules in order for life to function. And that therefore a police force is required. 

However, it’s odd that Spain needs three, which are all independent of each other. 

Although when it comes to which force is responsible for what, the lines are somewhat blurred.

The Cops and I – A Brief History

USA

In Malibu California (USA) in 1968, I got talking to a couple of cops outside a general store where we and they had stopped for refreshment. 

“Is it true that British cops don’t carry guns?” they asked. 

I confirmed that this was the case. 

“Well, how do they do their job then? 

I tried to explain, but they didn’t get it. 

I learned that they had both previously worked in San Diego, which was apparently full of dangerous armed criminals. Their job was very stressful and dangerous, they told me, and they were delighted to have been transferred to peaceful Malibu, home of film stars and other rich people. 

“But we still need to carry a gun”, they informed me. 

UK 1

In 1989 I was stopped for speeding in Warrington (Cheshire). When the traffic cop found out I was a teacher, which I was back then, you could see him lick his lips. He threw the book at me! B****rd! 

I guess he had had a bad time at school and didn’t like teachers.

My recollection of my time teaching at a Roman Catholic Boys’ Grammar School in the 1970s was that the big lads who were good at rugby and passed few, if any, O-Levels, joined the police!

Blimey! 

UK 2

In 1993, on a Saturday morning, I had picked up my two young kids from a trampolining session and was rushing my daughter across town for her ballet class and my son to his karate lesson, and I was stopped for exceeding the speed limit.

Amy burst out crying: “I’m going to be late for ballet”, she sobbed. 

The copper must have had a daughter too, cos he let me off!

 Amazing, as I was as guilty as sin! 

Spain 1

Until this week, I’d always got on well with the Spanish “Fuzz”, whether Policia Nacional, Policia Local or Guardia Civil. But this week I’m fed up to the back teeth! And it’s only Thursday! 

I received a fine by registered post for a trumped-up driving misdemeanour. When I tried to pay it within the 20 days in order to get a 50% discount, THE COMPUTER WOULDN’T LET ME!  

The Guardia Civil wanted 200€ instead of the discounted 100€ to which I was entitled. The problem is, and it’s more than frustrating, you can’t speak to a human being, only the disembodied voice on the computer. 

I consulted my gestora and she said: “Paul, just pay it. You can never win against the police, even if you are in the right, which I think you are, by the way. They will never back down!”  

So, I thought, “Nothing has changed really since Franco’s time!” [Back in time the guardia civil were Franco’s stormtroopers, but, I thought in the 50 years since the dictator’s demise, things had changed! Apparently, not.] 

Spain 2

Yesterday, we were in Marbella for medical appointments. I parked in a blue zone, controlled by parking meters. Having failed to pay at three different machines, which were all clearly out of order, I downloaded the parking app, registered my car and thought: “Bob’s your uncle!”….. 

….. But when we got back to the car after our medical examinations were over, there was a piece of paper stuck under one of the windscreen wipers! 

A parking fine! 50€! 

“Excuse me! I downloaded the app.”  The parking ticket said “no anulable”. 

This presented me with a number of obstacles to sorting things out there and then: 

• There were no local bobbies around for me to point out their error to.
• The Town Hall, who are responsible for issuing the ticket, was closed, as it was after 2.00 pm.
• Friday is dia festivo nacional, Saturday is Saturday, Sunday is domingo and Monday is another dia festivo (Inmaculada Concepcion).
• And I don’t live in Marbella!

I’m inclined to ignore the fine, but they will undoubtedly embargo my bank account for the money, a practice only known in Spain, as far as I’m aware. 

Who do they think they are, that they can willy-nilly plunder a citizen’s bank account against his/her will?

Banana republic, or what?

I am very fond of calling Spain, my beloved adopted homeland, a banana republic, because of the handful of things that frustrate not only me, but other “guiris”, AS WELL AS SPANISH PEOPLE. 

Top of the list, the way the police treat us, in a very top-down manner. “We’re right, you’re wrong!” 

With no recourse to justice and fairness. 

Bureaucracy, by the way, comes in a close second, but that’s another story, for another day ….. 

What to do?

In this last case, I intend to try and ring Marbella council. But, that will have to wait until next Tuesday because of the “puente”. 

If I that brings no joy, I shall refuse to pay the fine. What are they going to do? Chuck me in gaol and throw away the key? I’m 74, and ailing, so I don’t think they will do that. No, they’ll just plunder my bank account and steal the 50 euros! 

As my wife and my Spanish neighbours always say: “Just pay it, Pablo! That’s the way it is here!” 

Excuse me! I thought Franco was long dead, almost 50 years ago!

And, on the anniversary of Spain becoming a democracy, 47 years ago THIS VERY DAY, 6 December, Día de la Constitución, the country is still showing signs of severe authoritarianism (ie state-sponsored bullying!) 

I rest my case! 

© The Curmudgeon 

Links:

Police check in Spain - Secret Serrania de Ronda

Spain's three police forces explained... and who does what!

Photos:  

Alamy, BestDiplomats, BBC, Costasur, El HuffPost, Euro Weekly News, Facebook, La Razon, Pueblos de Malaga, www.marbella.es

Tags:

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